Well Now, This Sure Would Have Saved Some Time......

.........

Via Chris over at Dangerous Logic, I present to you-

Book A Minute!

"Don't have time to read it all?

We at Book-A-Minute understand that your time is valuable. You want to experience the wonder and excitement of the fine art of literature, but reading actual books requires a significant time investment. We've got the solution for you. Our ultra-condensed books are just the ticket.

From time to time, we even let readers vote on what we read and condense next."

My personal favorite so far-and damn would this have saved me some time summer before freshman year in high school-


Great Expectations
By Charles Dickens
Ultra-Condensed by Conrad Jacoby

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Pip: I'm Pip. I'm poor.

(Lots of THINGS happen.)

Pip: My life didn't matter, because I'm still poor and alone.


THE END

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And don't miss out on the other wonderful time-saving link at RinkWorks-that's right-

Movie A Minute!


"Don't have time to watch it all?

Let's face it. There's a lot of movies out there and very little time to watch them in. Well sit back and relax, because your troubles are solved! We here at Movie-A-Minute have come up with a solution. We've taken several classic and contemporary movies and extracted the important stuff, cutting out all the filler. (You'd be surprised how much filler there is sometimes.) With our ultra-condensed versions of your favorite films, you can experience whole movies in just one minute! As an added bonus, Movie-A-Minute protects against torture by bad movies -- if you don't have to sit through them, well, you don't have to sit through them.

"That's nice," you say, "but I don't believe you." Yah hah, skeptical soul! We've got our collection of ultra-condensed movies right here! We've got everything from Gone With the Wind to Die Hard! See for yourself!"

My personal favorite from Movie a minute-

Pretty Woman
Directed by Garry Marshall
1990
Ultra-Condensed by Greg Smith

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Julia Roberts: I'm a hooker, but I don't kiss on the lips.

Richard Gere: I have a lot of money.

Julia Roberts: (smooch)

THE END

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Now I just saved you like, hours or something. Maybe even days. Don't thank me though, I'm a giver. Enjoy all of your newfound free time!