Things that make me miss Taxachusetts: part 84

"Garden Statues covered up due to customer complaints".....

Excerpt from article-

HARTSVILLE, Tennessee - A garden center's nude statues proved a bit immodest for some in this small town.

G & L Garden Center responded to complaints by covering up the classical-style statues with stylish, two-piece crimson velvet sarongs.

It turns out leaving a little to the imagination meant a lot more customers for the $99.95 ornaments. Six statues have sold in the past couple weeks alone, and the attempt at roadside modesty is stopping traffic.

"He wanted to stop when he saw the naked women and the bikinis," Joan Philpot said of her husband of 50 years, Bill.

And yes, some customers are peeking.

"They are pulling the tops and looking underneath," said G & L co-owner Angie Langford. "They wonder what we're hiding."


Yes, we must keep the kiddies from seeing the boobies. Even if they are classical-style sculptures. Made of stone. In a garden shop. Surrounded by plants. Off of a highway.

(shaking head).....

Egads.......Folks, I'm a reasonable man, I love this state of Tennessee, don't want to leave, enjoy the southern hospitality attitudes, no income tax, I can even get past having a church every three feet.

BUT LEAVE THE BOOBIE SCULPTURES ALONE!!!!! They never did anything to you! Why you must cover the boobie?

Don't you know that covering the boobies makes baby Jesus cry?

On a related note, I imagine the folks who complained about the Hartsville scupltures haven't driven through the new roundabout off of Division street in Nashville and noticed "Musica"......they would definitely have driven in to the embankment and had to have been rushed immediately to the nearest church to flush there eyes with holy water, 'cause folks, there are LOTS of boobies in that...

Pssst..........."BOOBIES!!!!"