(Idea shamelessly stolen from The Bottle Shop-hey they probably stole it from someone else)
My head: You seem a little down today
me: leave me alone, we had a rough weekend
My head: Hey! I got an idea- Let's think about our problems until they become festering pits in the bottom of our stomach!
me: Yeah, sounds great. Can't wait. Why not throw some repressed memories in there for good measure.
My head: Your wish is my command.
me: I hate you sometimes ya know.
My Head: You certainly didn't when we were smoking those Trivial Pursuit questions at the Bar on Saturday. You loved me then. You would be nothing without me.
me: I wouldn't have festering pits in the bottom of my stomach. And you should have known more of those answers.
My head: True. Hey! I've got an idea!
me: Not another one. Enough with your wonderful ideas.
My head: Let's go watch the Fat Mans movie this week! That'll cheer you up!
me: How could that possibly cheer me up?
My head: Because you'll see folks who will remind you how hopelessly ignorant you were in your younger years.
me: Great. A theater filled with 25 year old former mes. No thanks. I'm depressed enough lately.
My head: But we've changed! We actually read things now and form our own opinions instead of simply regurgitating what we have been told!
me: So what. You think we deserve a metal or something? Don't you have something important to be doing? Like getting these numbers on the screen to look better?
My Head: You're no fun at all. I was trying to get those festering pits in our stomach to turn in to full blown physical ailments, thus sending us in to a complete depression.
me: Thanks. Really, that's great. What would I do without you.
My head: This girl thing is really bothering you huh.
me: I thought we talked about this already. You aren't allowed to get involved with that. Everytime you get involved we end up with these festering pits.
My head: I bet we can think this through, don't you?
me: God you suck sometimes.
My head: Yep, we'll run through multiple various scenarios wherein you get your heart broken in a variety of ways. You think those pits are festering now, do you? Just wait.
me: See, this is exactly why we did those Jagers on Saturday. Once you get involved, the rest of us suffer.
My head: Ugh, that last shot at Chu was deadly. I'm suprised we could even walk down those stairs.
me: Serves you right. You wanted to start talking to that girl who bummed a smoke from us. She was trouble man.
My head: Exactly why I wanted us to talk to her.
me: I'm leaving you at home from now on. You bring me nothing but trouble.
My Head: And festering pits, let's not forget those.
me: Like you'd let me forget. Asshole. A lobotomy is beginning to sound good right now.
My head: You wouldn't DARE...
me: try me.